The Roots of Indian Misogyny

The gang rape and torture of Jyoti on a bus one night in Delhi in December 2012 aroused incredible anger and passion among the people of India. Hundreds of thousands of ordinary Indians, perhaps even millions, protested the ineptitude of the police/government in dealing with rape cases, and decried one of India's pervasive problems - the frequent rapes of women. Sadly, Jyoti died a few days after the attack due to the wounds from her torture. Many called for the death penalty to be imposed on such rapists. However, the perspective of the rapists was ill-understood. Many thought that such men are deranged psychopaths that prey on innocent girls and women. And many liked to believe that such creatures come from the fringes of Indian society - that they are an aberration in India's "glorious culture", rather than a deep-rooted problem with said culture.

Recently, a British filmmaker, Leslee Udwin, has shed some light on the above question. She interviewed one of the Jyoti's rapists, who is currently in prison, to understand exactly what went through his mind during the rape, and what he thought of the public outcry that followed. The most shocking finding for her was that he was an incredibly ordinary man, not a deranged psychopath from the fringes, as people had surmised. And he had the audacity to "justify" his rape and torture of that woman via the argument of "Indian male privilege". Even more shockingly, his lawyer sought to blame the woman for the rape. Unsurprisingly, this documentary has created a furore in India.

Many think that providing such a forum for rapists to express their thoughts is an insult to the rape survivors and victims. But I think that is missing the point. The goal here, as per my understanding, was to understand the roots of India's rape culture. And I think the documentary underscores one deep-rooted issue - the pervasive misogyny that has gotten embedded in Indian society. It got me thinking about exactly how deep the roots of Indian misogyny go, and what shapes they take. I have listed down some of the people I think are at least partly responsible. Many of these will be unsurprising to most Indians. But, when viewed in the light of how even such "small" things add up to a pervasive culture of misogyny that rapists use to justify their actions, it surprised me as to how many of us, or people we know, are at least partly to blame.

• The people who abort their girl child during the foetal stage simply because she is a girl
• The people who kill or abandon their girl child right after birth simply because she is a girl
• The people who force their girl child to help in the kitchen while letting their boy child "go out and play"
• The people who force their girl child to study "less expensive" subjects while spending most of their money on an engineering degree for their boy child
• The people who tell their girl child that her education is not as important because she will be married to a "rich boy" some day and sent away from home
• The people who consider a woman a slattern simply for having, and hanging out with, male friends
• The people who consider a woman a slattern for wearing "modern" clothes but do not think so for man that does the same
• The people who consider a woman a slattern for working late nights but do not think so for a man that does the same
• The people who dismiss a strong woman as "bossy" but praise a strong man as "authoritative"
• The people who consider a woman who chooses not to marry as being selfish but a man who does so as being dedicated to his work
• The people who expect the woman to be a virgin before her marriage but do not expect the same for a man
• The people who expect that the cost of a weddding between a man and a woman has to be borne mostly by the bride's parents instead of splitting the cost 50-50
• The people who expect the bride's parents to shower the groom with "gifts"
• The people who expect the woman to change her surname and forget her family's identity after marriage but do not expect the same for a man
• The people who expect that a woman has to take care of her husband's parents while a man is expected to take care of only his own
• The people who look down upon a woman that divorces and remarries but do not do so for a man that does the same
• The people who think it is okay for a man to marry multiple women but do not think the same for a woman
• The people who expect a woman to tone down her appearance after her husband dies, but do not expect a man to change anything after his wife dies
• The people who choose to remember, and pay tributes to, only the paternal heritage but ignore the maternal heritage

Clearly, the roots of Indian misogyny extend from the cradle to the grave... no, from even before the cradle to way after the grave! :-/ As the saying goes, admitting a problem is the first step to solving it. Clearly, we all have a part to play in solving these deep-rooted issues, no matter how small, that contribute to Indian misogyny. Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments.