Dilemmas of Morality

Have you ever faced a moral dilemma? A situation wherein you had to choose between that which is in your interest and that which is more than just about you? A situation where you had to choose between selfishness and common good? I have faced quite a few in my two decades of existence and here I share with honesty, two of the more recent and impactful ones.

It was the end of my first year at IITM and I had just completed my stint as an NSS Teaching volunteer. Noticing my enthusiasm, the chief student coordinator of NSS, Jayaraj, asked me if I was willing to coordinate a new group within NSS in my second year. This is the Science Activities group, whose aim is to change the way science is being taught at secondary schools from rote learning to activity and experimentation based learning. I grasped the importance of this mission and readily agreed to do so. But as the semester started and the load of the courses began, I started feeling that I might have made a mistake by choosing to become the coordinator. Sometimes I used to feel that devoting time to such activities is a waste since it doesn't help me in any way and I see most others just going about their academic activities, which I might miss out on. This was the thread of selfish interest that was running in my mind. However I also used to think about the good things I can do as the head of Science Activities and the nobility of service, epitomized by great selfless people like Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa. This was a classic dilemma of my self versus my society. Which is more important? Why should I be in this situation? As I grappled with all these questions into the semester, I ended up not doing much for the NSS work, which was mostly taken care of by Jayaraj for the first few weeks. But the turning point was when I met Prof. Giridhar. On one fine evening, he called for a meeting of all NSS coordinators to discuss the plan for the rest of the semester and the December holidays. It was then that he explained about the kind of work that people have done at NSS and the impact it had on society. It was in that session that I got the answer to my dilemma.

The next situation was in my third year. I had volunteered to be an Internship/Placement Representative (IR/PR) for my computer science batch since it entailed staying back in the institute in December for the Placements when most pre-final year students would go back home. I being a day-scholar would be around and thus offered to be an IR/PR. After the internship season, the time came for deciding who the next Branch Councilor (BC) would be. Though many were happy with my work as an IR, many weren't. I was not averse to the idea of being the BC though I believed that some of my co-IRs, who were interested in the job, could also handle it. One fine evening, Sameer, who was the outgoing BC called me up and said that I would be the best candidate for the job and if I was seriously interested, I should contest the election for BC. It is a tradition in the computer science batch that the BC will be decided unanimously. I for one was uneasy about the prospect of contesting an election! My mind kept on wavering over whether I should stand for BC. In the end, I did manage to become the BC by unanimity. But that is where the dilemma started. Having become the BC, in order to do a good job, some sacrifices were called for. The choice of my BTech project guide changed because of this. My academic life did get affected though not as badly as some had warned me. But I still was slightly dithering about the whole thing. Why should I sacrifice these for the sake of others' placements? Why should I let my academic life be affected without any direct gain for me from this? Then again, I asked myself why not? It was after all for the class that I was doing this. It was for my friends and classmates who stood to benefit if I put in the efforts with sincerity that the post of BC deserved. This was for the common good of the batch and the department since most people were interested in taking up a job after the degree. As I grappled with this dilemma, the newly elected Academic Affairs Secretary, Amit had called for the maiden meeting of the new placement team. He explained our tasks ahead as well as the commitment and sacrifices required by each and every one, including him, to make the placements a success. As before, it was in a meeting that I got the answer to my dilemma.

As you must have noticed, I have stopped narrating the story of my dilemmas the moment I got my answers since what happened after that is in public domain. What happened before that is what I got to express here. As life continues, I am sure I would face more such situations in the future, which would test me and my convictions. If I'm lucky, I'd be able to write about them here again.